Patience really is a virtue. It certainly is a tough skill to learn and apply in life, especially in a society where everyone is expecting instant results or returns. 
We live in a world that is so fast paced and technological that we all expect things almost instantaneously after going in search for them. Not often do we see individuals working hard, and every day continuing to persevere along a path for something they really want, instead often taking the easy way towards something comfortable and familiar.
Being patient comes with many challenges, it can mean working for a lot of time for something you want, it can be waiting for something that may even never come.
Patience can also be a savior for so many people, in relationships, in decision making, in social experiences. It is a trait that isn’t often practiced or seen in many individuals today, but it can be what sets you apart. It teaches a good lesson, and even if the outcome or result of what you have shown patience for isn’t the one you wished, the learning and development of the skill of patience is so very important throughout life.
“Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.” ~ Joyce Meyer
As Meyer says, it is about how you act and react in every situation along your path while you patiently wait for something. This is defining as your actions can either assist in your journey, or they can elongate your journey. The decision is up to you, how will you act in patience? Patience starts from an everyday attitude towards life, and can slowly become part of your character. Patience starts today, so how will you show it?
This weekend, my team showed patience. After going down 1-0, we were patient in our play, knowing that we were the better team with more quality and firepower. Our patience paid off, ultimately coming back to win 5-2. This is a small example of patience, but for a team playing a season of approximately 25 games, learning and applying patience in this situation allows us to understand the importance of it across the season, throughout the challenges we face and successes we achieve.
I have patiently waited for nearly two years to see my father again, and I was reunited with him this weekend as he came up to watch my game. Although we FaceTime each week, nothing beats seeing loved ones in person and enjoying their character and being in close proximity! It was a special weekend and I was very fortunate to spend time with him, especially after the journey and experiences I have had in the last two years!
So often with failure, we look elsewhere to place blame, and even when we do understand that it is our own making, rarely do we truly process why we are failing, or even if it is considered to be failing. Identifying what part of the process failed and recognizing it for the next time you are in the situation is very important to making progress. It is also an individuals response to failure that truly sets them apart from others. How you react, in any situation is a huge dictator of character, and with failure specifically, it separates the strong from the weak, the motivated from the unmotivated. Success does not happen without failure, so embrace the challenge to better yourself, to keep persevering, knowing that one day, your greatest failures will lead to your greatest successes.
As opportunities come, most of them come with a change in environment. Now going from a place where you have been settled and comfortable to a brand new place can be a daunting task for anyone, anywhere. Often times, opportunities take you to a new place with no one you know, or where nothing seems familiar, but the unknown side of an opportunity is what should add to the excitement of it. Embrace the unknown, knowing that this new environment will soon become friendly and familiar to whatever you may be doing. Adapt to change with patience and trust, and then make the environment your own.
What a feeling it is to be back in New Zealand though. There is just something about the freshness of the air, the song of the birds, and the blue of the ocean that just cannot be beaten anywhere in the world. In the days that I have been here, I have experienced the various weather patterns Wellington has to offer, its wild wind, but also its stunning summer weather. Lets hope there is more warm summer days than blustery wet days in the coming months.
The past 18 months since I graduated from Quinnipiac University have been an adventure to say the least. There were many great experiences had during this time, along with many great challenges and learning experiences. I developed many abilities in this period of growth and development. I met many great people who challenged me to be better every day. And I truly believe that wherever I went, and whoever I met, I left a positive impact on them or their environment. I aim to make the world a better place, and I made a point to show my desire to do so during these adventures.
I believe the time was right to return to New Zealand to further progress as a person and football player. The opportunity presented was an attractive one for so many aspects of my life, one that I believe will progress me as a person and a football player. I have bought into a culture of professionalism and excellence along with a set team identity and it will give me a greater purpose in my football, something that has often lacked at the previous teams I was with. I am very excited for the opportunities that lay ahead, along with reconnecting with many old friends and influencers, and getting to further explore the beautiful country that New Zealand is.
By being present, I was not worried about the future, what might or might not happen, I was fully engaged in each day, in each moment. Being present allowed me to enjoy my interactions with people a lot more, enjoying their company and truly engaging in the conversations I had. Being present allowed me to enjoy the beauty of nature around me as the autumn leaves begin to fall and the orange and yellow leaves brighten the hillsides. Being present allowed me to focus fully on my training, the exercises or drills that I was doing and the challenges and developmental aspects it was offering. Being present allowed me to enjoy the moments, the moments that so many people let pass by them because their focus is elsewhere.
Saturday was the perfect opportunity to be present and focus on those specific moments that were presented. It was a crucial game for us, we win and we would would be confirmed safe in Division two for next season. We lose and there is still a chance to be relegated, so there was a lot riding on the game. The only thing that myself and my team mates could control was our game and our result, and we took full control of it in the third minute and never looked back. Off our first corner of the game we scored. Ten minutes later we doubled that lead, and five minutes before half time, it was 3-0. While keeping our focus and control, we could now enjoy the second half, play some nice football and and take the important 3 points home, and we did just that. Scoring once more to complete the win, 4-0. A great moment for the team and the club. Our long bus ride home was a very enjoyable and relaxing one having achieved what we set out to do, and we could enjoy the moments with each other.
And then later in the afternoon, Grant, Libby and myself enjoyed a lovely drive up the valley and across the border into another ski town in Norway called Trysil. The drive was lovely, winding along the river and lake with the trees changing colors. I was grateful to be able to breathe in the fresh brisk air while casting my eyes upon a wonderful mountain and surrounding nature, not worrying about what might happen tomorrow or next week, because that is out of my control. I was simply living in the now!
Your life is made up of choices. You make choices for yourself, how you behave and act, how you impact society, how you impact the world, how you simply live. Whether visible or not, not only do your choices impact yourself, but they also have an impact on others, it is your choice what type of impact that may be. The most important thing to remember is that you and only you are in control of your choices, and therefore your life. No one else can make choices for you, no one else can live your life for you.
My Swedish experience was improved this week because of two different people I worked for. Firstly, I am continually impressed by their ability to speak English, thankfully, or else conversations would be pretty rough. Because of this, the conversations I had with the people I worked for were enriching. I learned a lot from these people about their history, about the region, and about Swedish culture. I keep getting told about the great things to do here in winter, unfortunately my visa will not allow for me to stay that long, but maybe one day in the future. I was also very thankful for the interest they took in me and my journey, my story. I love sharing my story to those who are interested and hope that they can take something away from it.
Recognizing and acknowledging all the little things around, allow me to be more present in the moment, appreciating each moment for what it is, and not taking it for granted. Often times, people get so caught up in life that they really cannot stop to smell the roses, but it doesn’t even have to be that. Recognizing a fresh breeze across your face, seeing someone smile, being able to walk and breathe comfortably, are just a few little things that many people take for granted and these should be some of the things that so many people should express gratitude for. Being grateful can lead to one expressing more gratitude, to yourself, to your friends, to your surroundings, and that can truly have a big impact on ones well being. Try it some day, reach out to a friend and express your gratitude for them, or just stop one day and take a deep breath of fresh air and let a smile run across your face. Slowly but surely, gratitude can become part of your character if you experience and express it enough. It all starts with one grateful thought or action!
I was very grateful this week that on our bus trip to our game, the driver stopped for our break in a lovely spot along Vänern, the largest lake in Sweden. It was a great place to relax and eat our pre match meal while enjoying beautiful views of the water and its surroundings. This allowed me to head into our game with a clear and focused mind. I was able to control my emotions throughout the game, although things certainly weren’t going our teams way. There were many challenges including a very wet and muddy pitch, however I was pleased with how I played, and more importantly how I controlled my emotions throughout. IK Gauthiod won 3-1 to keep themselves right in the title hunt and for the promotion, and they certainly played like it. A great level of competition, but unfortunately our team wasn’t up for the challenge. 
Sunday dawned a new day, and our reserve team was playing their second to last game of the season. A comfortable 4-0 win allowed them to be crowned league champions leading to promotion to division 5. A great achievement for the team and club. I was able to get a good long ice bath in, as well as foam roll and mobility while watching a convincing Manchester United victory. Sunday well spent.
I have also begun to do more for myself, because that is one side that is very important for ones well being. After studying well being for my Senior Psychology thesis, I have a greater understanding of two types of well being, eudemonic and hedonistic. There is a distinct difference between these two types of well being, eudemonic is psychological, where as hedonistic is subjective. Simply put, eudemonic well being is an individual acting in a certain way that leads to growth and developing the best version of themself. Each individual has their own ideal of the best version of themselves, and for me, my best version of myself is a happy and healthy man, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
As the time ticks down on my time here in Sysslebäck, Sweden, my focus continues to shift. I have increased my self focus for the next 5 weeks to strive to be the best I can be. I have lessened the hours I work and will be spending more time training my body and mind to chase my goals. An improved mental preparation allowed me to really prepare for training and our game this week. After a 4.5hr bus trip on Sunday morning, we arrived in Skoftebyn with enough time to relax a little bit before preparing for our game. I was focused and ready, however I was tested with various challenges after things didn’t go the way I had envisioned. But that is football and you adapt and overcome. We struggled in the attacking third and lacked a bit of concentration and communication in the defensive end and found ourselves down 2-0 with 88 minutes on the clock. Somehow we came back to draw 2-2. I still can’t quite believe it. And not being too pleased with my performance I went straight to watching the film on the bus on the way home. After watching the film within a couple hours of playing, my opinion changed of my performance as I had just been very critical and hard on myself, and was fairly pleased with my performance. Of course there were little things here and there to improve, and I will review those and process them to make sure I make the appropriate adjustments. The focus on myself will continue this week as I prepare for the next game this weekend and truly prepare my body and mind!
As always, there were hedges to trim, lawns to mow, and other various manual labour jobs that filled the days during my week. These work hours are great for thinking and processing. Spending so much time alone with lots to think about, the mind wanders, and I have been able to use this time to focus my mind a little more when important thoughts filter through and allow myself to problem solve or at least process them. The whole journey over the last 18 months has been as much of a mental journey as it has been about the actual experience. I am pleased where it has led me, and embracing the opportunities and experiences it has given me, and I still continue to strive for better. This mentality has been with me on the football pitch for most of my time here in Sweden, every pass, every tackle, every movement, I aim to be better, and develop those skills to a higher level. It is these high standards that often frustrate me, as I fight with the voices in my head about my performance, what I did was right or wrong, however I continue to learn that this cannot be the focus. After every action; pass, tackle, no matter the outcome, it has happened and you must move on. The amount of mental processing every training and every game I go through is incredible, and it is all in an effort to perform with clarity and composure.
It has been a busy and full on week here up and down the valley. I did a variety of jibs this week during the days, stacking firewood, patching up the field from the match on Saturday, shifting hundreds of pallets and clearing out piled up stuff behind the shop. The jobs kept us busy for sure, but its always nice to see visual results that we achieved something. The manual work is simply just all part of the grind.
For me, although a lesser level, getting an extra 90 minutes on the field was great, as I was able to take away little things from the game regarding my mentality and attitude. A short sleep Friday night as a 5hr away trip began Saturday morning to Lerum. We got there 90 minutes before kick off so not much time to rest and rejuvenate before we were into our warm up. I backed up playing a full game the night before with another full game Saturday afternoon with the first team. It was a much more positive performance from the team, although a poor refereeing decision led Lerum to winning a penalty in the last few minutes. I was happy with my performance, and glad to be back at Center Back where I felt I was solid and reliable throughout the game. We then had to drive the 5hrs back to Sysslebäck. Long day! 