I wasn’t born to stay home.
Both my parents left their respective countries of birth while in their 20’s. As their son, they raised me purposefully with wings, to fly away. I was encouraged to go explore this world, experience different countries and cultures, and to take opportunities when they are presented to me. Through my travels and experiences, I have gained so much. Most importantly, I have gained a greater perspective of life and through this, I have developed my character into one that is relative to this perspective. I have developed a great appreciation for life, the abilities that I have, the opportunities I receive and the people in my life. This has allowed me to embrace life’s moments and all that it has gifted me, especially because many people do not have the same basic abilities as me or are not offered opportunities similar to me. Life is a gift, so I encourage you to make the most of it, every single day.
I believe I made the most of the last couple weeks in Sweden, and I am very glad I did, as they were my last days I would spend in the beautiful Värmland County, Sweden. My visa expired and I had to make a decision. I made a decision for what I believe to be the best for my well-being, and also my future as a footballer. I received an offer to return to New Zealand and play for Team Wellington FC in New Zealand’s National League, and I took it. 
The past 18 months since I graduated from Quinnipiac University have been an adventure to say the least. There were many great experiences had during this time, along with many great challenges and learning experiences. I developed many abilities in this period of growth and development. I met many great people who challenged me to be better every day. And I truly believe that wherever I went, and whoever I met, I left a positive impact on them or their environment. I aim to make the world a better place, and I made a point to show my desire to do so during these adventures.
I believe the time was right to return to New Zealand to further progress as a person and football player. The opportunity presented was an attractive one for so many aspects of my life, one that I believe will progress me as a person and a football player. I have bought into a culture of professionalism and excellence along with a set team identity and it will give me a greater purpose in my football, something that has often lacked at the previous teams I was with. I am very excited for the opportunities that lay ahead, along with reconnecting with many old friends and influencers, and getting to further explore the beautiful country that New Zealand is.
By being present, I was not worried about the future, what might or might not happen, I was fully engaged in each day, in each moment. Being present allowed me to enjoy my interactions with people a lot more, enjoying their company and truly engaging in the conversations I had. Being present allowed me to enjoy the beauty of nature around me as the autumn leaves begin to fall and the orange and yellow leaves brighten the hillsides. Being present allowed me to focus fully on my training, the exercises or drills that I was doing and the challenges and developmental aspects it was offering. Being present allowed me to enjoy the moments, the moments that so many people let pass by them because their focus is elsewhere.
Saturday was the perfect opportunity to be present and focus on those specific moments that were presented. It was a crucial game for us, we win and we would would be confirmed safe in Division two for next season. We lose and there is still a chance to be relegated, so there was a lot riding on the game. The only thing that myself and my team mates could control was our game and our result, and we took full control of it in the third minute and never looked back. Off our first corner of the game we scored. Ten minutes later we doubled that lead, and five minutes before half time, it was 3-0. While keeping our focus and control, we could now enjoy the second half, play some nice football and and take the important 3 points home, and we did just that. Scoring once more to complete the win, 4-0. A great moment for the team and the club. Our long bus ride home was a very enjoyable and relaxing one having achieved what we set out to do, and we could enjoy the moments with each other.
And then later in the afternoon, Grant, Libby and myself enjoyed a lovely drive up the valley and across the border into another ski town in Norway called Trysil. The drive was lovely, winding along the river and lake with the trees changing colors. I was grateful to be able to breathe in the fresh brisk air while casting my eyes upon a wonderful mountain and surrounding nature, not worrying about what might happen tomorrow or next week, because that is out of my control. I was simply living in the now!
Your life is made up of choices. You make choices for yourself, how you behave and act, how you impact society, how you impact the world, how you simply live. Whether visible or not, not only do your choices impact yourself, but they also have an impact on others, it is your choice what type of impact that may be. The most important thing to remember is that you and only you are in control of your choices, and therefore your life. No one else can make choices for you, no one else can live your life for you.
My Swedish experience was improved this week because of two different people I worked for. Firstly, I am continually impressed by their ability to speak English, thankfully, or else conversations would be pretty rough. Because of this, the conversations I had with the people I worked for were enriching. I learned a lot from these people about their history, about the region, and about Swedish culture. I keep getting told about the great things to do here in winter, unfortunately my visa will not allow for me to stay that long, but maybe one day in the future. I was also very thankful for the interest they took in me and my journey, my story. I love sharing my story to those who are interested and hope that they can take something away from it.
Recognizing and acknowledging all the little things around, allow me to be more present in the moment, appreciating each moment for what it is, and not taking it for granted. Often times, people get so caught up in life that they really cannot stop to smell the roses, but it doesn’t even have to be that. Recognizing a fresh breeze across your face, seeing someone smile, being able to walk and breathe comfortably, are just a few little things that many people take for granted and these should be some of the things that so many people should express gratitude for. Being grateful can lead to one expressing more gratitude, to yourself, to your friends, to your surroundings, and that can truly have a big impact on ones well being. Try it some day, reach out to a friend and express your gratitude for them, or just stop one day and take a deep breath of fresh air and let a smile run across your face. Slowly but surely, gratitude can become part of your character if you experience and express it enough. It all starts with one grateful thought or action!
I was very grateful this week that on our bus trip to our game, the driver stopped for our break in a lovely spot along Vänern, the largest lake in Sweden. It was a great place to relax and eat our pre match meal while enjoying beautiful views of the water and its surroundings. This allowed me to head into our game with a clear and focused mind. I was able to control my emotions throughout the game, although things certainly weren’t going our teams way. There were many challenges including a very wet and muddy pitch, however I was pleased with how I played, and more importantly how I controlled my emotions throughout. IK Gauthiod won 3-1 to keep themselves right in the title hunt and for the promotion, and they certainly played like it. A great level of competition, but unfortunately our team wasn’t up for the challenge. 
Sunday dawned a new day, and our reserve team was playing their second to last game of the season. A comfortable 4-0 win allowed them to be crowned league champions leading to promotion to division 5. A great achievement for the team and club. I was able to get a good long ice bath in, as well as foam roll and mobility while watching a convincing Manchester United victory. Sunday well spent.
I have also begun to do more for myself, because that is one side that is very important for ones well being. After studying well being for my Senior Psychology thesis, I have a greater understanding of two types of well being, eudemonic and hedonistic. There is a distinct difference between these two types of well being, eudemonic is psychological, where as hedonistic is subjective. Simply put, eudemonic well being is an individual acting in a certain way that leads to growth and developing the best version of themself. Each individual has their own ideal of the best version of themselves, and for me, my best version of myself is a happy and healthy man, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
As the time ticks down on my time here in Sysslebäck, Sweden, my focus continues to shift. I have increased my self focus for the next 5 weeks to strive to be the best I can be. I have lessened the hours I work and will be spending more time training my body and mind to chase my goals. An improved mental preparation allowed me to really prepare for training and our game this week. After a 4.5hr bus trip on Sunday morning, we arrived in Skoftebyn with enough time to relax a little bit before preparing for our game. I was focused and ready, however I was tested with various challenges after things didn’t go the way I had envisioned. But that is football and you adapt and overcome. We struggled in the attacking third and lacked a bit of concentration and communication in the defensive end and found ourselves down 2-0 with 88 minutes on the clock. Somehow we came back to draw 2-2. I still can’t quite believe it. And not being too pleased with my performance I went straight to watching the film on the bus on the way home. After watching the film within a couple hours of playing, my opinion changed of my performance as I had just been very critical and hard on myself, and was fairly pleased with my performance. Of course there were little things here and there to improve, and I will review those and process them to make sure I make the appropriate adjustments. The focus on myself will continue this week as I prepare for the next game this weekend and truly prepare my body and mind!
As always, there were hedges to trim, lawns to mow, and other various manual labour jobs that filled the days during my week. These work hours are great for thinking and processing. Spending so much time alone with lots to think about, the mind wanders, and I have been able to use this time to focus my mind a little more when important thoughts filter through and allow myself to problem solve or at least process them. The whole journey over the last 18 months has been as much of a mental journey as it has been about the actual experience. I am pleased where it has led me, and embracing the opportunities and experiences it has given me, and I still continue to strive for better. This mentality has been with me on the football pitch for most of my time here in Sweden, every pass, every tackle, every movement, I aim to be better, and develop those skills to a higher level. It is these high standards that often frustrate me, as I fight with the voices in my head about my performance, what I did was right or wrong, however I continue to learn that this cannot be the focus. After every action; pass, tackle, no matter the outcome, it has happened and you must move on. The amount of mental processing every training and every game I go through is incredible, and it is all in an effort to perform with clarity and composure.
Today was a very exciting day, that came about pretty surprisingly. I had an email from my Psychology thesis professor/mentor, Thomas Pruzinsky, that I received a few weeks after graduation and had yet to respond to, until about a week ago. I filled him in that I was in Northern Ireland playing football, and it just so happened to be that he was traveling through Ireland and the U.K. for work, having meetings and speaking at different places. And of course one of his stops for a few days was Derry. So we planned to have lunch, and closer to time sorted all the details. We met at 1pm today at a nice restaurant in town and shared a lovely meal.